Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
