My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
