What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
