I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
