There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
