he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
foreskin is a definite game changer
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
