so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
