First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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