Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
