I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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