so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
