So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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