Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
