god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
