Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
