Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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