Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
