We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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