I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
