My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
