If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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