If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
