You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I checked into jail on foursquare
you will always have a special place in my vag
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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