The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
