She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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