She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
