good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
