It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
