He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hippo gnu deer
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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