She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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