Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
