he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
