we're blogging at a bar
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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