I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize