Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize