Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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