Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
