Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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