Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
