Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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