my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
