I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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