The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
