i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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