so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
