I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
