So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
