question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
