Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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