He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
