I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
