well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
