Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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