So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
