It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize