Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize