My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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