Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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