There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
