you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
