it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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