We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
