How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
